Life has again given me twists and turns…

So now, the person whom my boyfriend and I rent rooms from in his home has professed his “more than friends” feelings for me.  Not only that but he asked me if there would ever be a chance of us “dating”!  At that moment I was shocked and dumbfounded.  How could he actually be asking me this?

Let me clarify our living situation:  I met Skip at an A.A. meeting.  He is older by 20 years, could be my father.  He needed help losing weight so he could get a hip replacement surgery.  His surgeon would not perform he surgery until he lost 100 lbs.  Obviously, Skip is pretty heavy.  Me, I’m a personal trainer and offered to give some tips and advice on how to eat right, lose weight and exercise it off.  He accepted my offer and we became fast and good friends, or so I thought.

When my boyfriend, Kevin and I needed a place to stay Skip offered to let us stay in his house until we could get back on our feet as we had just gotten sober and were trying to straighten out the wreckage created from our alcoholic past.  Skip was almost 20 years sober himself so I thought it could be a win/win situation.  I could help Skip lose weight and keep him on track and he could help us by allowing us a safe place to stay while we worked on our sobriety and our lives.  We agree that Kevin and I would pay for our own utilities.

Within a month of our moving in, Skip sat down in a private conversation with me and did express that his feelings for me were pretty strong but that he knew I was in a relationship with Kevin. So, he promised to be respectful and said that he could manage to separate our friendship from his other feelings.  This put me on guard, of course and I really worried about his or anyone’s ability to do what he said.  But, being 20 years sober and supposedly a good role model of spirituality and good values and morals in the A.A. program, I prayed on it, spoke with my sponsor and we decided to give Skip the benefit of doubt and go with the flow….especially since Skip and I seemed to have such a good friendship.  Now, for this girl, one of the most cherished things for me is having real, special and sincere friendships.  I hoped and believed that our friendship would prevail and things would be okay.  And things were great…..for a while…..

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It’s been a great ride again….

I turned a year sober last November 28, 2014.  It’s been a wild and wonderful ride of life and lots of God shots along the way.  It’s so cool how I can see and understand things so completely differently and wondrously when I apply the spiritual concepts learned in the A.A. 12 step program of recovery.  My alcoholism returned me to “hell on earth” once again after my relapse and I’ve “risen” from a seemingly hopeless state of “being” (if you can call it that); to a hopeful, positive, looking forward to today state of mind, body and spirit.

To say I’m grateful is minimizing the whole of it all.  But, indeed gratitude is a core component of my “self” today.  I see around me so much searching, frustration, confusion, fear and self pity.  All of which I recall all too well and painfully.  It’s more than nice being on this side of the bridge and can only pray for others to be as blessed and willing to follow their God’s will as is the whole solution for me in my contented state of life as I know it right here, right now.